Changing my mindset helped me look at my life differently. Many of us don’t like change and I get it, it’s scary. We get anxious of what other people think and we get this crushing fear of failure. It ultimately brings our confidence levels to an all-time low.
I’ve always been conscious of what I write on my blog, post on Instagram and even what I wear! I have been there worrying about what my friends think of business ideas and wild dreams. It can massively hold you back.
In order to succeed and live a successful life, you have to overcome these fears and be brave. You cannot assume the worst every time you want to do something. Negative thoughts lead to negative outcomes. However, training to change your mindset everyday, will help you do and achieve the things you’ve always wanted to do.
I started hating my 9-5 job, suffering from comparison envy and being a procrastination queen. Now, I am confident in building my own brand, sharing true, authentic value and going from invisible to visible.
How I Changed My Mindset
Like all stories, it wasn’t plain sailing and I had to work through a lot of issues in order to get to where I am today. Looking back at my journey, these are the key things that made my life more positive.
I stopped letting society tell me how I should live
Many of my friends have partners, own a house, own a car, engaged or about to be and having babies. This hasn’t happened to me yet and for years I struggled to come to terms with that. I always thought I was doing something wrong. However, this is where mindset and realization comes in.
I now see things differently by looking at a different perspective. Take a look at this scenario;
There’s two women. Woman A is 29, married with 2 children and woman B is 28, single and no children. They both want what each other has. Woman A wants to travel without kids, go out with her friends worry free and have her identity separate from her husband. On the other hand, Woman B wants the family life, a man she can snuggle up to each night, security and play dates with her other friends.
Just because you see someone else living your ideal life doesn’t mean that it is ideal to them. It also doesn’t mean that it is not achievable. Think about how you want to live your life, focus on that vision and live by that.
Don’t compare your life to anyone else. Stay in your own lane and don’t let anyone tell you how life is supposed to be.
Life is not a race and everything will happen when it’s supposed to happen and there’s plenty of time – it’s never too late!
I let go of my regrets
Learning to let go of your past is an important tool when building a success mindset. You can’t keep living in the past and sometimes that’s a hard pill for to swallow. We sit there and think about what could’ve been and what should’ve been. However, whatever has happened has happened and we cannot change that no matter how hard we try. The sooner we accept that, the easier it is to move forward.
Having regrets is part of being human. You will experiences this more than once so don’t let it be a big deal. You can either hold on to the feeling of regret or you can create new experiences by learning from your previous actions.
For instance, you regret not speaking your mind to a friend. Next time, when you feel like something isn’t right, stand up for yourself and say how you feel (think about what you say before you say it first, obviously!). If you regret not going on that holiday with the girls, arrange another trip together for another time.
Make positive and smart decisions for your future and learn from your mistakes. Don’t hold on to things you cannot control or change because you will never move forward.
I made dreams/goals/wishes
Change your mindset by believing you can do anything. Makes plans, goals and dream big! It keeps you motivated and accomplished! However, don’t make them and then not have a plan of action to achieve them.
A question I ask myself every day is; what can I do today and everyday to help me achieve [insert goal here]?
It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture and it doesn’t need to take all your time or money. The main aim is to feel accomplished every day and satisfied that you are taking steps in where you want to be.
I stopped acting like I was a victim.
When I came out of my relationship a few years ago, I moped. I don’t think I’ve ever moped that much in my life and it went on for a good year. My mindset was broken and I went through all the emotions. Sympathy, comfort and revenge, you name it, I probably felt it.
For a few months, it was understandable to be down and upset. After a while, people started feeling sorry for me and you become bitter and committed to negativity.
Now I look back and think how much time I wasted being a victim. I could’ve put all the hurt and bad vibes into something positive like helping others!
As the saying goes, don’t let your past dictate your future and most certainly do NOT. PLAY. THE. VICTIM. You are strong enough to overcome this and strong enough to not let the bad vibes define your life.
As I always say, everything begins and ends within. What you choose to focus on can affect your future and your dreams. Focus on being the best version of yourself and being a more positive inner being. I promise you it’s not time wasted and when it begins to click, everything will fall into place.